Okie dokie… so yes, I am sad again today.
The funeral service and then Remembrance service have taken their toll. I have been wallowing in death and loss. This is an infection that has settled upon my heart, and now flows through the veins. I accept this, though I am grossly tired of those who would have me cheer up to suit their level of comfort.
Before, when I lived as an isolate, shunning companionship and friends save the few whom I held close, I lived with a different pain. There are so many pains of the heart. The difference was that as an isolate I was in total control. By a simple act of will I was able to tune out those who insist upon altering my mood.
Today I have sadness, and I shall be fine with my sadness. I do not wish to cheer up for your comfort. I wish to allow that which is within me to be as it is, and run its proper course.
Today’s Preferences
Beverage – single malt whiskey
Music – something incomprehensible
Reading – Neruda
10 years ago
Absolutely bizzare comment of the day:
ReplyDeleteI'm unable to use your rating system for this post. If I choose "More" then does it mean I wish you to feel pain longer, or to write more about it? "About Right" is so subjective - right for whom? Me, that I am comfortable with your emotions, or that I think you are right in your grief? "Less" seems to apply the best - because I hate seeing those I like in pain, but it also seems insensitive, as if I am urging you to shut up.
Good point... a real Catch 22 huh? *LOL*
ReplyDelete